Anecdote: How Cry-bullies and Snow-fakes Are Made

My heart sank a little when I saw the trio come down the aisle of the airplane. A mother with two young children, and the three seats in front of me were open in a mostly filled airplane. The boy, approximately five years old, arrived first and slid his way over to the window seat. The mother was carrying a girl of perhaps three years and plunked her onto the middle seat—whereupon the little girl burst out crying. Heads turned from all directions toward the impressive volume, and the little girl announced between sobs I want window!

The little boy responded immediately, defending his territory: It’s my turn. The girl wailed No! Want window!

And a political drama unfolded before my eyes.

The boy said again It’s my turn but added Mom said I could have it.

The little girl was now wailing and monologuing I want it I want it I want it.

The mom tried out a threat—No i-Pad. It went unheeded.

She offered a bribe: Here are some gummy treats. Rejected after a moment’s consideration by the little girl. The wailing recommenced.

In that moment of consideration, I was surprised by the little girl’s face. I could see her clearly in the gap between the seats in front of me. She was clear-eyed and thinking. It was the face of a person with a strategy. She was fake crying, and she was already skilled at turning it on and off as she needed.

The exasperated mother snapped. She ordered the little boy into the middle seat, saying she’d make it up to him later.

End result: The little girl had the window seat, her iPad, and a bag of gummies.

Well played, little girl.

Which reminds me of campus politics today with its crybullies and snowfakes.

Related: Bootleggers and Baptists — or Snowflakes? [Open College series]

4 thoughts on “Anecdote: How Cry-bullies and Snow-fakes Are Made”

  1. Yes, I’m sure all parents have done this in there times to give in for some peace in this incident. ‘ quiet’ and prevent more embarrassment for the patent.
    Seperate from this,
    I’m tired of women barking against men when they just need to get on With it for themselves, feel the fear of taking full responsibility and decision making. By using another e.g. standing on the shoulders of men busy pounding them down with verbal clubs. This Demonstrates to me the enmeshment of their own psyches and their need to stay that way. All comes back to mum and dad and No or not enough at the most basic emotional intelligence. A need to Grow up, face their own immortality by truly letting go. When your truly taking responsibility, guess what? There’s no one to blame, shame or control. Your on your own to grow develop support humanity all of humanity. Life gives us all lemons this to will pass.

  2. Yes, I’m sure all parents have done this give-in for some peace and ‘ quiet’ preventing more embarrassment. Mind, you this is normal behaviour for a three year old, male or female. At times it’s ok for a big brother or sister to be told to give up their seat. Myself though, it would of been better to take turns.

    Seperate from this ,
    I’m tired of women barking against men when they just need to get on with it for themselves, to feel the fear of taking full responsibility and decision making.
    By using another standing on the shoulders of men busy pounding them down with verbal clubs. This will can not work. By hiding behind distorted beliefs ‘ it’s the mans fault’ Is giving their power away in their own heads to men. This then, puts the man in a distorted superior position in which they then resent. Talk about head screwing’ .
    True power can not be found by blaming another only a false sense of power with no true satisfaction can be gained. The EGO has been allowed to run rampant due to the lack of self empowerment and the EGO blames the men to get more power like an insatiable need that can and won’t be met. Because it’s not about men, men are being used as scape goats.
    ‘Don’t accept this twisted mess’.
    It’s like a family mess being passed down, the anger, raging, blame and distorted perceptions unconsciously being projected onto another person thing or place. It’s got down to who has the upper hand, the loudest voice, most controlling tactics on power play. Just like the above seat incidence, the noise just gets louder and behaviour becomes more outrageous when it is accepted and yes rewarded.
    Where is the boundary line of what is acceptable and not acceptable, who decides on campuses companies, relationships as we can see this needs to be reinforced because it’s not helping young people who’s job is to push the boundaries but if the boundary line is already frayed, worn down, given into. Then some reinforcement is required. (not an easy ask) like soldiers holding the front line being petrified.

  3. All that’s needed is for parents to get into the habit of saying No to their children. Like most good habits it’s hard at first, but once you’ve got the hang of it, it comes naturally, and your kids soon come to expect and accept it and adapt their behaviour accordingly. Children come to terms with an imperfect world, and for parents it makes the potentially difficult first 20 years of parenthood so much easier and happier.

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