Philosophers’ Christmas carols, reprised

‘Tis the season for Christmas carols, revised for philosophical accuracy, with explanatory links, just for fun.

mistletoe-65Sigmund Freud:
I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
But with therapy I think that I
Should recover and become all right.
.

angel-65William James:
Angels we have heard while high.
.
.
.

jingle-bells-65Jean-Jacques Rousseau:
Jingle Bells, Santa smells,
And he has bad breath.
Oh, what fun it is to ride
Nude, the sleigh of death.

.

gent-salute-65St. Augustine:
God damn ye merry gentlemen.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Readers of the original post had suggestions. Three from Terry Noel:

Epictetus:
Dashing through the snow
In a one-horse open sleigh,
We’ll be unperturbed
If we lose our way.

A trio of solipsists:
We three kings of orient are
Solipsists who’ve lowered the bar;
On this outing, each is doubting
Whether he’s singular.

A beleaguered libertarian:
The worst Noel,
The statists did say,
Wrote a limited-government
Blog every day.

Alexander channeled J. S. Mill:
God rest ye merry, gentlemen,
And if he won’t, then I will.

And Adam Smith:
God bless the owner of this store
And the sales clerks also
That from their own self-interest
Sell gifts at prices low.

More suggestions?

More philosophicalish humor?

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