The best logical fallacy — a competition

(A list received via email, originally credited to Brian McGroarty.)

Ad Hominem: This is the best logical fallacy, and if you disagree with me, well, you suck.one-equals-two

Appeal to False Authority: Your logical fallacies aren’t logical fallacies at all because Einstein said so. Einstein also said that this one is better.

Appeal to Emotion: See, my mom, she had to work three jobs on account of my dad leaving and refusing to support us, and me with my elephantitis and all, all our money went to doctor’s bills so I never was able to get proper schooling. So really, if you look deep down inside yourself, you’ll see that my fallacy here is the best.

Appeal to Fear: If you don’t accept Appeal to Fear as the greatest fallacy, then THE TERRORISTS WILL HAVE WON. Do you want that on your conscience, that THE TERRORISTS WILL HAVE WON because you were a pansy who didn’t really think that Appeal to Fear was worth voting for, and you wanted to vote for something else? Of course not, and neither would the people you let die because THE TERRORISTS WILL HAVE WON.

Appeal to Force: If you don’t agree that Appeal to Force is the greatest logical fallacy, I will kick your ass.

Appeal to Majority: Most people think that this fallacy is the best, so clearly it is.

Appeal to Novelty: The Appeal to Novelty’s a new fallacy, and it blows all your crappy old fallacies out the water! All the cool kids are using it: it’s OBVIOUSLY the best.

Appeal to Numbers: Millions think that this fallacy is the best, so clearly it is.

Appeal to Tradition: We’ve used Appeal to Tradition for centuries: how can it possibly be wrong?

Argumentum Ad Nauseam:
Argumentum ad nauseam is the best logical fallacy.
Argumentum ad nauseam is the best logical fallacy.
Argumentum ad nauseam is the best logical fallacy.
Argumentum ad nauseam is the best logical fallacy.
Argumentum ad nauseam is the best logical fallacy.
Argumentum ad nauseam is the best logical fallacy.
Argumentum ad nauseam is the best logical fallacy.logical-fallacies-cube

Begging The Question:
Circular reasoning is the best fallacy and is capable of proving anything.
Since it can prove anything, it can obviously prove the above statement.
Since it can prove the first statement, it must be true.
Therefore, circular reasoning is the best fallacy and is capable of proving anything.

Burden Of Proof: Can you prove that Burden of Proof isn’t the best logical fallacy?

Complex Question: Have you stopped beating your wife and saying Complex Question isn’t the best fallacy?

False Dilemma: I’ve found that either you think False Dilemma is the best fallacy, or you’re a terrorist.

False Premise: All of the other fallacies are decent, but clearly not the best as they didn’t come from my incredibly large and sexy brain.

Gambler’s Fallacy: In all the previous talks about this subject, Gambler’s Fallacy lost, so I just know the Gambler’s Fallacy is going to win this time!

Guilt by Association: You know who else preferred those other logical fallacies? *(insert pictures of Hitler, Stalin, and Pol Pot here)*

Non Sequitur: Non Sequitur is the best fallacy because none of my meals so far today have involved asparagus.

Post Hoc/False Cause: Since I’ve started presuming that correlation equals causation, violent crime has gone down 54%.

Red Herring: They say that to prove your fallacy is the best requires extraordinary evidence, because it’s an extraordinary claim. Well, I’d like to note that “Extraordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence” is itself an extraordinary claim.slippery-slope

Relativism: Well maybe all those other fallacies are the best for you, but to me, the relativist fallacy is the greatest logical fallacy ever.

Slippery Slope: If you don’t like Slippery Slope arguments, you will do poorly in class, drop out of school, commit crimes, go to prison, and die of AIDS.

Special Pleading: I know that everyone is posting about their favorite fallacies, but Special Pleading is out-and-out the best, so it should just win with no contest.

[More entrants here.]

6 thoughts on “The best logical fallacy — a competition”

  1. One that enjoyed surprising historical longevity was promoted by religious authorities of many denominations: believe or die.

  2. The Genetic Fallacy is best because all those other people who proposed fallacies only believe them because of their social conditioning.

  3. Mr. Dahl: My dictionary says “a failure in reasoning that renders an argument invalid.”

    As to subjective perception: that can be quite varied. I find for many religious folk reciting a scripture from the Bible, Qu’ran, etc., carries the weight of a syllogism, whereas to the unenlightened, such as myself, it evokes nothing but a huge “Whuh?”

  4. I am aware of dictionary meanings. “Fallacious” has a generic disflavor. One may not be able at once to refute an argument. Perhaps I am queering the analogy by misassociating it with “fellatious.”

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *